The pressing need to hang an announcement board around her neck re-emerged into mind. Clawing its way to make it known amidst the ocean of pressing needs and wants. She didn’t brush it off like the last time. More like she gave it a thought, wondering what kind of sentence she would’ve wrote on the board. Probably something like suck it peeps, I’m done for the day, please return on working hours or be civilized, people, I’m not your favorite person to get her patience running off. Whichever was fine, really. She never wanted the day her idea morphed into reality to come anyway.

She still found it very intriguing, though.Read More »

The Blue Van

The car was moving, she believed. The blue van drove through a non-existent road. There was no momentum. They never made turn. Had always been in a steady speed or not at all. She couldn’t see the road. The light outside was too bright for her to see. But she still believed the car was moving despite everything. The driver was the old man she knew really well. The dearest.

She sat at the passenger seat. Her tiny body leaned forward, arranging several coins on the dashboard. There was this small part in the middle where you can put small things like coins. Almost like a cup holder, but it was placed on top of the vents of air conditioner and heater. The blue van had that part to hold coins and candy. She was arranging the coins into a pile. The blue van moved too smooth. There were no tremors to poke the pile’s balance, but the doll in the center bobble its head comically as if the van driving through a bumpy road.

As she arranging the coin, she cried. She was listening to the story the old man telling her. What was it again? What kind of story he told her? She just kept wailing so hard. Tears blinding her vision. She could barely breathing between sobs.

“And then, what happened next?” she asked.

The old man, hands on the wheel, turned to her. He smiled. Eyes squinted from the genuine smile.

“They never meet each other again.”

She wailed even louder. Her heart clutched. The very first time she cried so hard it was painful.

The next thing she knew, everything disappeared one by one except her.

The light. The blue van. The coins. The bobble head doll. The old man. His smile.

She begged, “I don’t want to wake up.”

But she woke up anyway.


I am

I am a series of words
Hold no soul.
Grip on self.

I am a whirlwind of emotions.
Born from turbulence.
Hold no core.

I am a series of thoughts.
Where’s the escape?
Where’s the embrace?
Tell me.

I am a series of words.
Misinterpreted often.
Lose its value.
A history.

I am a gaping hole.
Heal me.

Not Even Halfway

Hey, I’m not even halfway there, yet the sky has started collapsing. The ground under my feet feels weird. It’s not even solid. I might get drown from not striding.

Hey, I’m not even halfway there, yet the road has been so hard to travel. The obstacles force my restraint to go unstable. Makes me longing for miracle. I might slip hard from not being intractable.

Hey, I’m not even halfway there, yet I’ve been thinking to stop walking. The struggles I preserve start missing. No longer hold meaning. I might disappear from crying.

The poor soul can’t travel with ease.

Traveling the bumpy road all alone under endless laugh and pity,

Toward the not-yet-exist future,

I drag my feet.

I risk it all.

Self Reminder

Be positive

Be cheerful

Be certain

Keep the flames staying ablaze

If it dies somehow, light it up

Let it burn the whole things

If everyone quit the minute things got hard,

nobody would ever get anywhere

I know you

Pessimistic with big dream

Hard-headed idealistic

An insignificant entity filled with burning passion

In the world full of normies

You’re longing to be the different

You’re seeking to break the usual

You’re heading to a place where no one’s headed to

You’re left alone with your strong principles

Think of what you’re always believing in

Your efforts won’t betray you

Keep believing

For you want to be different

For you’re going to a place where no one’s headed to

The journey won’t be easy

Countless obstacles will be there

But it will worth to travel

For you will be the only victor






The picture is taken from weknowmemes.com

To The Depth

Water. Water. Water.

Wherever he looked, there was only water. Surrounding him. Pressing in. Claiming him. Light became out of reach above his head as he submerged to the depth. Further and further. Darkness awaited below in an unknown distance. Ready to consume, it smiled.

He thrashed in panic, trying to swim, but only to found himself sank deeper. He opened his mouth to breathe, to scream, to crying out for help; instead of air and voice, water infiltrated his lungs. Water and desperation jostled his chest, weakened his limbs. His mind went blank in an absolute terror, eyes refused to shut, they were burned.


Can’t swim—

Can’t breathe

There’s only water—

Going to die

He looked up, the light was now his sky. Nothing could bring him up there.

Please, help—


His eyes caught another existence in front of him, within reach. A little girl on his age, pale and skinny in unhealthy look. Her eyes and mouth were shut in stern line. Her body drifted in still motion, almost like a corpse. As she descended, her dark hair and white torn dress danced around. Graceful. He extended his hand to her, but his life force gave in. His hand never reached her and they sank deeper.

Before dark engulfed his vision, her eyes opened. Her skinny hand extended to touch his jaw, until both hands cupped his face. A little smile rose on her lips. She laughed.

No turning back now.

The darkness’ embrace was cold.



Adapted from my favorite fan fiction writer’s work. I was inspired by one of the scene. All honorable mentions go to them who recently seems to have stopped participating in the fan fiction world. I’m not mentioning their name here for I will probably put them in more trouble if I do.

No kidding, I do hate deep water.